A New Hope

Yearning by Jonas Ranum Brandt

October 4, 2010

I will have been on this Earth for 30 years

30 whole years

I'm terrified

Not because I'm getting older, mind you.

(Age, after all, is only a state of mind and my mind screams "20!!!")

I'm terrified because I have such high expectations for the big 3-0.

I look toward 30 with stars in my eyes

and I can't help myself.

I know that I will probably be in for a huge let down,

but there's something magical about that number.

To me, it means a chance for change,

maybe a new beginning,

maybe some excitement,

something unexpected.

I want so desperately for something wonderful to happen,

something amazing.

Every morning, my alarm goes off and

I awake feeling a yearning for that something.

I've grown so tired of being trapped in the

cellophane wrapped haze of the past 2yrs,

where everything I see, touch, feel is muted and dull.

I want excitement.

I want vibrancy.

I want happiness.

I want a life.

I want so, so much...

And hence my fear of 30.