Wednesday, September 29, 2010

A New Hope

Yearning by Jonas Ranum Brandt


October 4, 2010
I will have been on this Earth for 30 years
30 whole years

I'm terrified
Not because I'm getting older, mind you.
(Age, after all, is only a state of mind and my mind screams "20!!!")
I'm terrified because I have such high expectations for the big 3-0.

I look toward 30 with stars in my eyes
and I can't help myself.
I know that I will probably be in for a huge let down,
but there's something magical about that number.

To me, it means a chance for change,
maybe a new beginning,
maybe some excitement,
something unexpected.

I want so desperately for something wonderful to happen,
something amazing.
Every morning, my alarm goes off and
I awake feeling a yearning for that something.

I've grown so tired of being trapped in the
cellophane wrapped haze of the past 2yrs,
where everything I see, touch, feel is muted and dull.

I want excitement.
I want vibrancy.
I want happiness.
I want a life.

I want so, so much...

And hence my fear of 30.


2 comments:

Bubbly Faces said...

I think you have overcome so much and have accomplished just as much. You are such a strong beautiful person. Don't be afraid of 30... you look 25!

KupKakeqt said...

Yah..don't worry about it! When I turned 30 It was the most fab day of my life! Enjoy it!