I miss him.
I look around me and everything reminds me of him.
And although it is painful, I wouldn't trade it for anything.
That's how much he was entwined in my Life.
It's crazy how much changes in the blink of an eye.
I, who never gave marriage a thought, fell for a Man.
Fell so deeply and so truly.
I felt I was created to marry him.
To make him happy.
I accepted my fate willingly.
I ran to it with open arms.
But now I feel unsettled, uncertain, unbalanced...
a whole lot of "un"s.
Luckily, my Boo gave me a wonderful gift, knowledge.
It is because of this knowledge I feel steady.
May 23, 2009
The day I breathed.
There I stood, in my Sherbet colored dress,
holding my bouquet of white Spider mums,
on the Temple steps, surrounded by those who love me,
knowing that he and I are Forever.
It was perfect.
Bittersweet and perfect.
Bitter because he wasn't there, holding my hand, making a funny face at me
and Sweet... because he was there, probably making a funny face at me.
Perfect because he and I are now Timeless, Forever, Eternal.
This is a Truth that holds all the molecules that make up Liz together.
A certain Future ahead.
A poignant Past behind.
A wobbly Present at best.
But I am here, albeit reluctantly.
Come what may.