Monday, August 10, 2009

I miss him...
My hand literally aches to touch his face.
Oh, how he hated that...
He would always ask me why I had to touch his face all the time.
He would get so frustrated.
But I couldn't help myself.
It was just the cutest face.
And I kinda liked getting him all frustrated.
He barely ever lost his cool.
And in spite of all the face touching, he still married me.
I honestly don't know how I tricked him,
but whatever I did worked.
Poor guy.
I think Sundays are the hardest.
I loved our lazy Sundays:
church
napping
watching iron chef
star trek
paula dean
Every so often I would glance at him to find him watching me.
I'd say "What?"
He would simply say "You're cute."
He was such a silly goose.
And my heart breaks each day knowing I can't touch him.
It's so hard.
Hard to keep going forward when there are days when I just want to stop.
Just close my eyes and find that the world just stopped.
Give me time to breath.
I really hate going on,
waking each day,
learning new things,
planning a future...
A future without him,
without our home,
without our children,
without our dog...
The worst is this anger I feel that is directed at nobody.
It just sits on my soul.
I pray to Heavenly Father for some peace.
Hopefully someday it will come.
I'm still waiting...

2 comments:

Lola....L..O..L..A....lo--oh--luh! said...

Love you.
Big Hugs.

Allyson & Jere said...

I love this entry for it's honesty and beauty. I love you for going on, even though it hurts so much. I love you for smiling through the pain. I pray that peace will come soon for you.