A Lizard Tale

I miss him...

My hand literally aches to touch his face.

Oh, how he hated that...

He would always ask me why I had to touch his face all the time.

He would get so frustrated.

But I couldn't help myself.

It was just the cutest face.

And I kinda liked getting him all frustrated.

He barely ever lost his cool.

And in spite of all the face touching, he still married me.

I honestly don't know how I tricked him,

but whatever I did worked.

Poor guy.

I think Sundays are the hardest.

I loved our lazy Sundays:

church

napping

watching iron chef

star trek

paula dean

Every so often I would glance at him to find him watching me.

I'd say "What?"

He would simply say "You're cute."

He was such a silly goose.

And my heart breaks each day knowing I can't touch him.

It's so hard.

Hard to keep going forward when there are days when I just want to stop.

Just close my eyes and find that the world just stopped.

Give me time to breath.

I really hate going on,

waking each day,

learning new things,

planning a future...

A future without him,

without our home,

without our children,

without our dog...

The worst is this anger I feel that is directed at nobody.

It just sits on my soul.

I pray to Heavenly Father for some peace.

Hopefully someday it will come.

I'm still waiting...